Sacred Marriage

I am not that fond of “self help” books.  I mean, I’m of the mindset that if “it isn’t broken, don’t fix it”–especially when it comes to marriage.  I have a tendency to think, “Don’t mess with mine.  I’ve got a good thing going here and I don’t want to ruin it by ‘fixing’ it or waste my time reading about it.”  There are more than enough books on marriage out there, and most of them have to do with how to have a better one.  Unfortunately, the majority of them are centered around how you can be “happy” in marriage.  That’s what it’s all about, right?  Well, when my DH told me about this book he was reading, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, I just rolled my eyes.  Well, I rolled them for a year (it’s a wonder I’m not cross-eyed) then I picked it up one day to scan it, and found I couldn’t put it down.  It’s written with a lot of humor, has great personal stories, as well as  profiles of historical figures and how they viewed love or how marriage changed them.  The book is not without purpose, however.    The subtitle ”What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More than to Make us Happy?” says it all.  Gary’s point isn’t to say that there is no happiness or enjoyment in marriage, but rather there is a greater purpose:  God’s glory and our sanctification.  His chapter on persevering through a difficult marriage and the character it builds in our lives was especially memorable because he shared the story of “The Great Emancipator”, Abraham Lincoln.  Lincoln persevered through a very difficult marriage.  He sufferred many “indignities” at the hand of his wife Mary, from her throwing coffee in his face to going on wild spending binges.  After the death of her favorite son, she was more given to hysterics; and it was after this and yet another son becoming ill, that he boarded a train to Gettysburg, PA and gave the most famous speech that has ever been recorded in the history of these United States.  Mr. Thomas paints Mr. Lincoln as a man of perseverence whose marital hardships produced a stalwart character that America was able to lean on during a very trying time.  I was also touched by the idea of building a “history” with someone, and not throwing it away.  You live with someone for years, build a home, have children, and you develop a history with them.  How could you not value that?  Isn’t that history worth fighting for, worth struggling through whatever difficulty comes?  After reading the book, I began to value my marriage more, for it’s importance in society, it’s importance to our children, and it’s importance in making me holy.  Yes, holy.  That is another big point of Mr. Thomas–holiness is not reserved for the celibate.  We can actually learn something of the nature of God and His holiness by being joined with someone else.  There is so much one can say about this book, but I’ll just leave it to you to read and enjoy on your own.  If you’ve read it, let me hear your thoughts.  It is definately one worth discussing.  Here’s another cheer for my DH, whom I might add had only read one book all the way through at the time of our marriage 9 years ago.  (Our 9th anniversary is Feb. 14th of this year!)  Now, he has become a bookworm.  That’s the only kind of worm I’ll allow in my life.